How To . . . Scare Him Off!
Really Creepy Self-Help Titles Available on Amazon:1. Updating! How to Get a Man or Woman Who Once Seemed Out of Your League
2. We Need to Talk. But First, Do You Like My Shoes?: Dress Codes for Dumping Your Man
3. How to Spot a Bastard by his Star Sign: The Ultimate Horrorscope
4. Mr. Right, Right Now!: How a Smart Woman Can Land her Dream Man in 6 Weeks
5. Stop Getting Dumped! All You Need to Know to Make Men Fall Madly in Love with You and Marry "The One" in 3 Years or Less
6. Red Flags: How to Know When You're Dating a Loser
7. Why Men Love Bitches
8. The Hookup Handbook
Do not leave these books on your nightstand.
Other items to consider moving:
Your therapist's home phone number, all 16 pages of your credit card bill, any hair removal products known to cause cancer in the state of California, and while we're at it, let's limit the number of prescription bottles to 4 or 5.
posted by k. @ 8:01 PM
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