It's not me. It's you.

Fine. I'll solve my own damn problems.

My apartment doesn't have heat, or cable, it rarely, if ever, has water pressure (sometimes, there's actually no water) and I kept bitching and moaning and trying to settle for a relationship in which someone (anyone) would provide heat/cable/running water for me. But that hunt, my friends, is officially over! (No, I didn't find someone to date me. Seriously now.)

I joined a gym!

Each cardio machine has a flat screen tv attached to it, the heat works, and the showers work. I have all the Sportscenter and Carolina games I've ever wanted. And no, I am not above standing still on an elliptical trainer with a bag of cheetos for an entire basketball game.

Its the best solution ever. We are in a legally binding committed relationship. What's even better, is that the gym can't ask me about my feelings, I can't find his last girlfriend on the internet, and I'll never have to explain to the gym that making out with his best friend was an honest-to-goodness accident, it could have happened to anyone, and I don't see why he's still so mad.

posted by k. @ 10:03 PM